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The baby won't take it so she says, "Come on, eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here." Ten minutes later, the baby is still not feeding so she says again, "Eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here". The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in fashion sense. She replies "My boss and I played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings." Another week later, his wife comes home, driving a flaming red Ferrari.

The bloke says, "Listen, love, can you make your bloody mind up, I should've got off four stops ago! The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly. "Well, she replies, "My boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings." A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat. You guessed it - her share of the lotto winnings...

Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wadding, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go? " So the dentist says, "Okay, we'll have to go with the gas." The cowboy replies, "Absolutely not. I'm not having gas." So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "Here," he says. " The doc replies, "Viagra." The cowboy looks surprised and asks, "Will that kill the pain?

The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goooes." SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. " Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy." A cowboy walks into the dentist's office and after an examination the dentist says, "That tooth has to come out. " "No," replies the dentist, "but it will give you something to hold on to while I pull the tooth." You've heard it before - "#1 site for whatever" but trust me when I say My Free is actually it!

Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop? My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. " It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.

As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.

-- A bloke was sitting on a bus when a gorgeous woman next to him starts breastfeeding her baby. " -- A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents..." KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one? " ORSM VIDEO One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring. That night, the wife asks her husband to run her a nice warm bath while she gets undressed. "Well," he replies, "We don't want to get your lotto ticket wet, do we?? NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!When she enters the bathroom, she finds that there is barely enough water in the bath to cover the bath plug. " OPINIONS On the first day of school, a new starter handed his teacher a note from his mother.

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